Dear Mr. Squirrel,

Hello, Mr. Squirrel.

I am the woman who keeps you fat and happy.

You come to my house and routinely partake of the food that I leave out for the birds. Not for you, for the birds. You have eaten through one birdfeeder (that was a birthday gift for my son -- have you NO manners?!), and managed to outsmart the expensive "squirrel-proof" feeder that I bought in replacement. You beat me and discouraged me to the point of leaving the feeder empty for a good nine months. Birds came and went, sadly...eventually even the cardinals, beloved ground feeders that they are, gave up.

But yesterday, when I was sitting outside with my children, I noticed a pair of beautiful goldfinches examining the empty feeder. And I thought, "Oh! I want them to stay!". I quickly ran to fill the feeder.

Two problems arose at this moment, Mr. Greedy Rodent.

One, the branch on which the feeder was sitting was bent to the point of snapping at any moment. I can only think that this is from the repeated acrobatics you performed on it while fattened on enormous amounts of stolen birdseed.

Two, the yellowjackets who have a nest in the ground out there decided to make an appearance. One of their little scouts was sniffing out my unprotected ankle, which led me to run screaming down the hill, birdfeeder in hand. I know this is not directly your fault, but no doubt your delinquent behavior has attracted other unsavory types into the neighborhood. The yellowjackets will most likely be getting an angry letter from me as well.

I resolved not to give up. I filled the feeder and set it down outside, plotting an evening trip to Lowe's to purchase a "shepherd's crook" on which to hang the feeder. I thought this might discourage you, and even make you the butt of jokes as we watched, happily eating our breakfast, as you slipped and slid down the pole. Oh, how happy those days would be. I could almost see your fat little legs frantically spinning as you tried to make your way up the smooth metal.

After dinner, we made our trip to the store and purchased the shepherd's crook. Perhaps I should tell you that a "shepherd" is a person who takes care of sheep. Sheep are stupid animals, but they obey humans. They live long and happy lives, and are usually fat with very little effort. You might take a lesson from them.

When we arrived home I made my critical mistake. I leaned the hook up against the side of the garage and planned to install it in the morning, when it was light outside. The idea of trying to stick the hook in the ground in the dark seemed a bad one, especially when there were beds to be made up and kids to get to bed.

During the night, you committed your most foul crime to date:



As I raised the blinds this morning before breakfast, a gasp escaped my lips as I beheld the carnage. Then and there, I vowed that you would lose this war.

The birds will eat.

You will not.

I think you underestimate your competition, Fat Beast. I come from a long line of birdfeeder defenders.

My grandmother, the dairy farmer's wife, is celebrated as a longtime defender of bluebirds. She was (and is) known to run out the door, arms flailing, yelling at the top of her lungs at any threat to her beloved winged friends. Sometimes she even takes the broom with her. Not bad for a woman under five feet tall.

My mother took a more relaxed route, choosing instead to let the natural order continue...that is, she turned the dogs on any one of your kind seen on our birdfeeder. This was often our mealtime entertainment...watching one of your family get nice and comfortable on the feeder, and waiting until precisely the right moment to let our black labs out the back door. Oh, the looks of panic that escaped those squirrels' faces!! What should they do? Try to scramble back up onto the branch? Or jump to the snow below, risking life and limb in a mad dash for the woods over the fence?

I will stop at nothing. I am human. I have opposable thumbs. I also have access to a credit card and I have a clean criminal record. That means I can buy a crossbow, a gun, or various kinds of poison. Perhaps I will recruit my handsome, intelligent and talented engineer husband to devise a complicated Squirrel Torture Machine that we will call "The Annihilator."

You'd better watch your back. I'm from the suburbs but I am fierce. It is on.

Sincerely,
The Ornery Housewife Behind the Glass

Humbled again

A couple of weeks ago, I bought Les Miserables in paperback. It was one of those classics that I hadn't read yet and it had been on my list for a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and completed the last page with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Let me interject here and say that over the weekend, a friend noticed the book laying on our table and asked, simply, "Abridged?" I replied, "no," inwardly thinking, "Does he know who he's talking to? Abridged? Sacrilege!"

After I finished the book early this afternoon, I came down diligently to my computer, a blog entry already percolating in my head, about reflections on the book. I decided to use the Project Gutenberg site to include some quotations from the book. But as I paged through the online version, I noticed some snippets here and there that I hadn't read. What? Had I bought an abridgement? Surely not. My heart rate accelerated as I checked, as I had in the bookstore, all over the book for those nasty words, "abridged" or "adapted." They were not to be found.

After some frantic online research, I discovered that not even the publisher's website states that this is an abridged version.

But it is.

And now I've spent two weeks of my life obsessively poring over a less-than-complete version of Hugo's masterpiece.

Apparently works as long as Les Miserables must be specified to be "unabridged," instead of the other way around. Apparently publishers think that no one in their right mind would really want to read the whole thing.

I was taken in with the sight of a 600+ page novel, thinking it was unabridged. But the real unabridged version? It's 1400+ pages. I guess a real literature buff would have known that.

So now what do I do? I don't really want to dive right back into the story again.

*sigh*

You stink, Simon and Schuster.

Trying on some "Foliage"

Whaddya think?

I'm really digging the window-shade pull-down thingy.

The colors...eh? Maybe a little drab?

Are you Ready?

Mothers of the Wise and Good

The mother of a family was married to an infidel who made a jest of religion in the presence of his own children; yet she succeeded in bringing them all up in the fear of the Lord. I one day asked her how she had preserved them from the influence of a father whose sentiments were so openly opposed to her own. This was her answer: "Because to the authority of a father I did not oppose the authority of a mother, but that of God. From their earliest years my children have always seen the Bible upon my table. This holy book has constituted the whole of their religious instruction. I was silent that I might allow it to speak. Did they propose a question? Did the commit any fault? Did they perform any good action? I opened the Bible, and the Bible answered , reproved, or encouraged them. The constant reading of the Scriptures has alone wrought the prodigy which surprises you."

"A Wise Mother", p. 140

Two things impress me about this story. One, the mother's refusal to let religion become a point on which to disrespect her husband; two, the use of Scripture on every occasion, happy or sad.

In the first case, this woman could have let religion mark the difference between herself and the children's father, and entreated the children to heed her instead of him. But instead, she quietly maintained her position and appealed to a higher authority, that of the Lord. In this way she doubtless demonstrated the peace and perseverance that comes from resting in God's sovereignty.

Secondly, this passage is convicting to me in the way that the mother used Scripture at every time in her children's life. Why am I so quick to use the Bible to rebuke and correct my children, but never allow them to experience the encouragement and soothing aid that comes from its pages?

From Psalm 119:
46I will also speak of your testimonies before kings
and shall not be put to shame,
47for I find my delight in your commandments,
which I love.
48I will lift up my hands toward your commandments, which I love,
and I will meditate on your statutes.

This just in...

Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet is finally being released on DVD on August 14th of this year. It's been ten...long...years....

You may have already known this, but it's new news to me. This has been a "currently unavailable" item on my wishlist for a loooong time.

If you haven't seen it, settle in for the four hours and drink it in!

Read With Confidence

(so far...who knows where things could go if someone starts bashing Jane Austen or questioning my cooking)

My Alma Mater in the News

Today I received my copy of The Bridge, Messiah College's alumni magazine. The first page included a quote from a professor's essay on the attention Messiah has been getting lately as the alma mater of Monica Goodling, former senior counsel to U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Goodling took the fifth amendment and refused to testify regarding the firings of eight federal judges. She was a senior at Messiah when I was a freshman there. I didn't know her. I must admit my hackles were raised when I read some of the comments made by the press. I think Jon Stewart and Bill Maher dish it out for everybody, no matter what side you're on (correct me if I'm wrong on that). But it just seems plain old ignorant for the press to categorize a Christian liberal arts college as one that simply "does not have co-ed dorms or allow alcohol on campus"...as though that is why people attend the school.

Messiah ranks as treasure in state

Why the Media Bungled Monica Goodling's Background

Catching up

I've been off-blog for a week now (blush). Here are some notes on what we've been up to:

• Soccer Camp: Cameron and Ben attended a camp put on by the Charlotte Eagles last week, held at Covenant Classical School. They enjoyed playing with kids of various ages everyday. I burned up a lot of gas toting them up there everyday. The picture above is them in their camp shirts.
• Strep: Anybody have a suggestion for a more endearing term for the illness we've been fighting? I was thinking of "The Black Death," but that's already taken. Another trip to the doctor today.
• A Date: David and I went out to the Olive Garden Friday night and then did some serious book-shopping at Books-A-Million. We made a quick exit at the time when the Harry Potter party started. Streams of goth-looking wizards flooded the store around 9 p.m....it was really hilarious for avid people-watchers like us. Meanwhile, at home, the boys hung out with uncle Tom and Jonathan made sure he was initiated as a babysitter properly, diaper changing and all. ;-) Thanks, Tom! We really needed a night out!
• Two more boys in the house: We're taking care of our friends' sons Elijah and Joshua this week, so I am now the proud mother of six boys. I actually went to a baseball game Sunday night with ELEVEN men. And little me. More on that later.

Mindless quiz

Which Jane Austen Character are You? (For Females) Long Quiz!!!

You scored as a Elinor Dashwood

As Marianne's older sister, Elinor lives at the other end of the emotional spectrum. She rarely reveals her intense feelings and is more concerned with being honest and loyal than having what she deserves. Even though her intentions are pure, she sets herself up for loss by constantly placing other people before her own needs. Overall, Elinor is gentle and rational but is just as capable of radical emotions (despite her withholding them) as her sister.

Elinor Dashwood 75% Elizabeth Bennet 72% Jane Bennet 72% Emma Woodhouse 66% Charlotte Lucas 53% Marianne Dashwood 50% Lady Catherine 28%

Here's the link for guys. I know there are some heroes reading this blog!!

Playing at the Greenway

Summer Bounty

We're at 29 tomatoes and counting from the four Roma plants we have in the garden, with many, many more expected. What to do with all those tomatoes?

Make homemade salsa
Make grilled tomato, basil, and mozzarella sandwiches (extra good on rosemary bread)
Make tomato sauce and freeze it
Make tomato-corn-zucchini salad

And when the numbers got overwhelming last summer, I made these: Roasted Tomatoes.
from Everyday with Rachael Ray.
Makes about 2 Cups

Ingredients:
3 pounds plum tomatoes (I use Romas -- about 15)
olive oil
1 T. fresh thyme, chopped finely (I use dried)
3 garlic cloves (I use more)

1. Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat the oven to 375º. Stem the tomatoes and slice them in half lengthwise. Gently squeeze out the seeds or scoop them out with a spoon.
2. Lay the tomatoes, cut side up, in a single layer on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Drizzle with the olive oil and sprinkle with the thyme and garlic. Roast for 40 minutes. Increase the oven temperature to 400° and roast the tomatoes until caramelized, about 20 minutes more.
3. Turn off the oven and leave the tomatoes inside for 10 minutes, then remove to a rack and let cool completely. peel if desired. The tomatoes will keep for up to 5 days in the refrigerator or for up to 6 months in the freezer.

In my experience, the second step takes a little longer than 20 minutes at 400 degrees. Just leave 'em in there until they start to caramelize. Oh, and I skipped the parchment paper, but I use a well-seasoned stoneware baking sheet. I also made the Chickpea curry, which was excellent.

The challenge is to make these tomatoes, smell the aroma coming out of your oven, and not walk around congratulating yourself on what a great cook you are. "I AM THE GREATEST CHEF TO EVER WALK THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!" No, Kelly, you're just following a good recipe.

What do you do with your extra tomatoes?

Overheard

Scene: Morning, kids are all dressed except for Andrew. Quiet whining upstairs.

Mom: Andrew, are you dressed?
Andrew: Yes, but I need your help with my shirt.
Mom, seeing Andrew fully dressed at the top of the stairs: What's the matter?
Andrew: My arms are sticking out too far!



I'm pretty sure that yesterday was the first time in his memory that Andrew wore a shirt without sleeves.

Mothers of the Wise and Good

George Washington and his Mother

(Finally, someone I didn't have to research to find out who they were!)

George Washington's mother's name was Mary Ball. She was the second wife to Augustine Washington, who had two sons from his first (deceased) wife. When Augustine died in 1743, the charge of the education of the children fell to Mary. It was not a small responsibility, with a family of six sons and one daughter. At the time of his father's death, George was only ten years old. She fulfilled her responsibility well, even overseeing the discharge of their father's estates to the children one by one. George Washington's biographers have said:

To the care of his excellent and pious mother, he was indebted for that education and those sentiments of heroism, and principles of virtue and honor, which, acting on a happy disposition and a lofty genius, and aided by a favorable concurrence of circumstances, raised him to the summit of greatness and glory.

When Washington was fifteen, his oldest brother, Lawrence, recognized some military aptitude in George and obtained a commission for him in the British navy. George was excited by the prospect of being a midshipman; he was preparing in earnest for his profession when he encountered a barrier to his plans -- his mother's own hesitation. She did not want him to enter the navy.

In fact, she could not part with him. Relations blamed her as a "fond, unthinking mother," but it was owing to these yearnings of her maternal love, that, under Divine Providence, the whole career of her son was indebted. Had he entered the British navy, it is probably his name would never have been heard of; and his country's destinies might have been very different.

Summer Fast Food

Whenever I'm in a pinch for a quick lunch or dinner in the summertime, pesto is my go-to recipe. I make sure I always have the ingredients on hand. It's lovely to go out at 5 p.m. and snip some basil and have a yummy pasta feast ready within the hour. The noodles are boiling on the stove as I type this.

Here's my pesto recipe. I got this recipe from a friend in California who used to work for a "caterer to the stars"...so you know it's good. :-) It's heavy on the garlic and cheese.

Pesto

1 lb. pasta noodles
2 Tbs. Pine nuts
2 large cloves garlic
2 C. fresh basil leaves
1/2 C. extra light virgin olive oil
1 tsp. salt
4 Tbs. chicken broth, or reserved pasta water
3 Tbs. butter
1 1/2 C. grated Parmesan/Romano cheese

Boil noodles according to package directions; drain and keep hot. While noodles are boiling, mix (until smooth) the following in a blender or food processor: oil, pine nuts, salt, basil, and garlic. In a large bowl, place broth, butter and cheese. Pour hot noodles over cheese mixture and mix until combined. Add basil sauce and stir.


Notes on the recipe:

• I use curly noodles so there's lots of space for the sauce to cling to. If you cook them until they're just al dente, then they will drink up lots of sauce. Mmmm...
  
• Buy pine nuts in bulk...about $9.00 per pound but MUCH less than the grocery store. My single-pound bag lasted me all summer last year.
  
• You can use any kind of olive oil, but the extra light is the best. If you use a heavier one the oil taste tends to overpower the basil flavor.
• You can also use any kind of Parmesan cheese...fresh, canned, with Romano or not. It is definitely better with fresh cheese, but it's not economical for me to make it that way every time.
• The basil sauce freezes really well! I usually freeze it in one-meal amounts (minus the butter, broth, and cheese, of course).
  

Please add a caption

and another first

Last night was the first time I opened the dryer and discovered to my horror that a red crayon had gone through the cycle with the clothes. Most of our khaki shorts and pants and some of our jeans had little pink streaks all over them.

Fortunately my parents were still here and Dad immediately Googled remedies for me on his PDA. There were many, many, options available so I chose to go forward with whatever I had on hand.

So what worked?

I soaked the load for about an hour in HOT water with a double shot of Oxyclean. Then I drained the washer and rewashed, again using hot water, using another shot of Oxy and a regular amount of Gain (I usually use AllFree on our clothing and reserve the Gain for sheets and towels, but I wanted to use the most "aggressive" detergent this time around).

And they're all clean, except for the decals on Ben's soccer shirt, which aren't really fabric...so I don't know if anything will help them.

Phew!

That's a first

Jonathan stuck a pinto bean up his nose this morning. I fished it out with my tweezers.

Just thought I'd share.

Wedding weekend

This past Saturday, as you saw from my most recent post, we celebrated with a couple from our church as they stood before family and friends and united their hearts and lives together in marriage. It was a beautiful, God-honoring ceremony and reception. The bride looked like a queen :-)

One of the most special moments to me was standing in the bridal suite before the ceremony, praying with Laura and her bridesmaids. I was touched as I heard her friends pray a blessing over the day, the marriage, and Andy and Laura's future together. I was reminded of my own wedding, and the words the pastor spoke in reflection on Romans 5:8...how we were not lovely, we were not clothed in beautiful white garments, and we were enemies of God. But our Bridegroom condescended and clothed us in His own righteousness so that we could be brought near to God. What a wonderful picture a wedding is to remind us of that truth.

Here are some more pictures from the day.

Mrs. DeBruhl

Husband and Wife

Andrew flatly refusing to dance with Laura's friend Allison
(I hope he lives to regret this...pretty girls don't ask you to dance everyday!)

After some cake and a lot of Skittles, Andrew was willing to burn off his sugar high on the dancefloor

He invented a new dance move we're calling "the Pogo"

It really caught on...he's a trendsetter

Off they go

Ring Bearer

Mothers of the Wise and Good

Mrs. Eliza Berry and Her Children

Wife of Rev. Joseph Berry, pastor of the Dissenting Church at Warminster, had three children and died at the age of 37. Her father was one of six students expelled from Oxford University for reading, praying, and expounding on the Scriptures.

The large measure of this chapter is taken from the address given at her funeral, given by Rev. William Jay of Bath (Jane Austen reference, for those of you who've read Persuasion). Here are some excerpts, which are inspiring to me:

"The religion of this saint was not occasional; it did not depend upon particular seasons, and exercises, and occurrences. She was in the fear of the Lord all the day long, and acknowledged Him in all her ways....It was not a thing separable from her, and which was sometimes assumed, and sometimes laid aside; but it was a principle wrought into all her feelings, habits, and actions."

"Her attention to order and regularity was singular. Life was with her a system, and everything in it had its due time and importance. Hence she knew nothing of that hurry and fretfulness occasioned by omission and confusion."

She..."was only a private character, it is true; but she was a decided character: she was a constant character: she was an amiable character: she was an inoffensive character: she was a benevolent. She neither lived nor died to herself."

How often do I "lay aside" religion for the sake of comfort or convenience? Is my "private character" consistent with my public one?

What do you do when you get up in the morning?

Jonathan practices his putting.

Peek a boo

Jonathan at Harrisburg Park's playground

Overheard

David and Kelly getting ready for the day in their bathroom, discussing Kelly's hair history first as a blonde and then as a brunette.

Kelly: Not that it's important, but having been both, I can say with confidence that men pay more attention to blondes than they do to brunettes.
David: That's because they're men. They like shiny things.
Kelly: (laughter)
David: They're like fish. They like shiny things. Oooohh...shiny...

Something to remember today

As much as I love the Fourth of July...as much as I grew up in New England, with the mindset that it was the center of the universe because it was the "Birthplace of the American Revolution"...as much as I love fireworks and band music and parades...

my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a king & a kingdom -- D. Webb

Hebrews 13:14 For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come.

And on and on it goes...

Our continuing battle with strep bacteria has reached new heights...now, I think, every member of the family has had either strep throat, rectal strep, or "strep sinus" (which is a new condition that David apparently invented).

Yesterday Jonathan was diagnosed with rectal strep, and I've already made an appointment for Andrew for this afternoon.

I'm hoping that once everyone has had a turn on antibiotics, then we will be free of it. It's been six months of this now and I just can't laugh about it anymore.

Update @ 5:45
Well, Andrew's test came back negative! That's good news, I guess. It's hard to know anymore what's good news or bad news.