No, just kidding...that's not the question I meant. The question is, what should we do as Christian parents of young kids on Halloween? What is the best thing for our children and our neighbors? How can we please God on this day?
Here's a brief history of what we've done thus far in our young life as parents...
The first two years, we did nothing. We gave out candy but our kids stayed home, because a) we hadn't thought much about how to approach the day b) it was too cold in Massachusetts to make it tempting to leave the house, and c) well, quite honestly, we were tired and just didn't care that much.
When we moved to Southern California, the "cold" excuse was gone, and as Cameron emerged from his toddler years we decided we'd give Halloween a shot. I dressed Cameron as John Elway and Ben as a train engineer, and took them around our downtown area during the day, where local merchants were dressed up, handing out treats.
This trip was a turning point for me. As we walked on the sidewalks of Camarillo, the older children I saw were consistently dressed as horrible things. "Scream" masks abounded. Blood and gore were everywhere. And I wouldn't have made a big deal of it, but Cameron, who was a tender age 2 1/2 at the time, kept asking, "Mommy, why do they look like that? Mommy, what's that?". I found myself searching for an explanation and one never came. What should I say? "Well, honey, today is a day that many people set aside for celebrating fear, death, and evil." So why were we doing it?
One thing you should understand about David and I...(I hope I am not speaking out of turn here; if I am, David, please leave me a comment to correct me) ...as parents, we try to be minimalists. By minimalists, I mean that rather than think about what we shouldn't do, we think about what we should do. We try to start at zero and then start adding things. A good example of this is at Christmastime, when we don't "do" Santa Claus. Rather than asking, "why not?", we prefer to ask, "Why? What does this accomplish?". With the short amount of time that we have with our children before they leave the nest, I would prefer to spend time on the truth rather than a myth...even if it is a fun, magical myth. So start knitting your "Mrs. Scrooge" sweaters for me now. In spite of the lack of Santa Claus at our house, we believe Christmas has done us good. And I say, God bless it. :-)
But I'm getting ahead of myself...back to the question at hand. Why should our kids dress up and go trick-or-treating? The only really convincing reason I could come up with is that it's a great night to hang out with your neighbors! What other night of the year will people willingly open their door to you? And this hit upon another problem I had with Halloween...people come to my house and stand back as their kids collect their candy, and then they're on their way. I was always left feeling like I wanted to talk to them more!
So we have happened upon a compromise that we hope to try out this year. We're going to throw open our garage, put up some twinkly lights, play some music and set up a table. We'll have candy for the kids and coffee, doughnuts and cider for the adults. We've invited another family from the neighborhood to hang out with us, since their kids don't go trick-or-treating, either. Our hope is that people will stay and chat and that it will be a more fruitful time than the usual "drive-by" candy collection.
The other option was to dress the kids up like Martin Luther and have them hammer a copy of the 95 Theses to everyone's doors. But I don't think that would be a good way of making friends with the neighbors. ;-)
I'll let you know how it goes!
P.S. Please don't "hear" what I'm not "saying." There are plenty of Christian parents who choose to send their kids out trick-or-treating for the same reason...to be visible in the neighborhood and get to know people. I'm just explaining why we're doing what we're doing this year, and maybe next year, depending on how it goes! Not everybody will land on the same conclusion that we have, and our traditions may change in years to come.
I think that's a fantastic idea Kelly! Halloween has made its way to the upper class of Bolivia, but even more popular is their religious Day of the Dead holiday where families bake people-shaped bread with ceramic faces cooked in and spend the day at the cemetery, leaving the bread for the ancestors to eat. I'm glad we have a few years to work on an explanation for our kids with that one...
ReplyDeleteWe are in the same boat Kelly. We have gone to our church fall festivals in the past when living in other states- but those celebrated the harvest of fall, not Halloween. Last year was the first time we actually dressed up and went trick or treating and we did so for the same reason you are mentioning here. We are doing so again this year and look forward to the fellowship with our neighbors- non- believing and believing! Last year was a wonderful time of fellowship in our neighborhood on Halloween night and we sparked a few new friendships from it with neighbors. We are looking forward to it again this year and I hope your evening is a wonderful one and that lots of neighbors come in for cider. :-)
ReplyDeleteThat sounds fun! I would love to do that, if I thought anyone would come up our long driveway.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the gore...a guy down the street (nice guy, too) has fake headstone all over his lawn. I was waiting for the girls to ask about it, but instead Aisling said, "We don't do that...we do pumpkins"
Oh, and Kel, remember the Holdens and how they always had big Herbert bars for us? We have our own version; a lady down on Olean stopped Aisling and me last week to ask if any of them were allergic to anything, because she'd "bought them something special."
ReplyDeleteHeading out with a flower angel (no, she is NOT a fairy), a cat, and a bunny tomorrow night.
Sounds like a grand idea...but then you know Grandpa would have to clean up the garage.
ReplyDeleteKellie has asked to give our guest their treats. Then of course, Grandpa will take Neil (or Neil Armstron)visiting the neighborhood. Grandpa really missed that last year. It is one of those Dad/Grandpa things he always enjoys doing...like taking the kids to the bank with him to exchange his "coins". (Family joke)
Have a Wonderful All Hallows Eve...
OHHHHHH!!!! after I wished you "All Hallows Eve" I thought perhaps it would help to share the history... Here goes.
ReplyDelete"The true origins of Halloween lie with the ancient Celtic tribes who lived in Ireland, Scotland, Wales and Brittany. For the Celts, November 1 marked the beginning of a new year and coming of winter. The night before the new year, they celebrated the festival of Samhain, Lord of the Dead. During this Festival, Celts believed the souls of the dead-including ghosts, goblins and witches--returned to mingle with the living. In order to scare away the evil spirits, people would wear masks and light bonfires.
When the Romans conquered the Celts, they added their own touches to the Smahain festival, such as making centerpieces our of apples and nuts for Pomona, the Roman goddess of the orchards. The Romans bobbed for apples and drank cider--traditions which may sound familiar to you. But the Christian celebration came into play in 835, when Pope Gregory IV moved the celebration for all the martyrs (later all saints) from May 13 to Novemeber 1. The night before became know as All Hallow's Even or "holy evening." Eventually the name was shortened to the current Hallowen. Thus, from October 31 to November 2 becomes a celebrations of the "communion of saints" (all of us)which reminds us that the church is not bound by space or time. So again...Happy All Hallows Eve...
I remember a short piece Coty wrote that I read either last year or the year before. I thought I had saved it, but I tried to find it to give to a friend this year and couldn't find it. We dress up and go see our neighbors. This year we had a barbarian and a ninja. Also every year we have friends over for food and cider and carve pumpkins together.
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